[A small, haggard sigh as he runs a hand over his face.]
At least, not in the way she wanted I suppose. Short of killing Hugo and Barnabas, the only other "way" left would have been to take her away kicking and screaming with me.
[His hand then falls with a hard smack against his leg.]
Maybe I should have. But at the time she had made it so clear she wanted to stay in Waleod, that she wanted that over me, it was basically the final straw. How was I supposed to know she secretly wanted me to take her when she was doing everything else to say otherwise? All those times...
[He stops himself, not wanting to beleaguer old memories on two people who don't need to be dragged further into this mess. Especially when he knows how this all sounds.]
I always wondered if I should have just done it, but that would leave me no better than the rest. So I let her have her choice. But with how things turned out...
[Another empty wave of his hand.]
You may be right. I missed the signs and should have given her a firmer hand.
[Security with an all powerful king versus a man set to go rogue and rebel against the world. From that standpoint, the choice is clear for someone too afraid of risks.]
[ Despite not knowing the inner workings of one's psyche, Clive could feel empathy for Cid's situation. He didn't know Benedikta as well had he had- he could never know- but by simply listening to the man's words it was clear there was an uncontrollable conflict that he was stuck in the middle of.
There was no changing of the past- no time capsule or magick spell that could spend him to fix this. There was only here, now, at this very moment. And the fact that the gods gave them both another chance had to mean something, right? ]
You couldn't have know at the time, Cid. [ Clive breathes his words out slowly, as if to change his approach. The tension settling in the room was growing thicker and the man attempts to disperse some of it by a supportive squeeze to Cid's shoulder. ] She may have not known herself. But you tired, and did what you thought you could.
[ No option that Cid presented seemed good at the time. To fight both Barnabas and Hugo? Even Clive knew how that would have turned out. And then to try to forcefully pull her from her situation? It seemed as though he had made the one and only decision that felt right. ]
All that's left is to continue to be there for her, even at a distance. You know as well as I how long scars take to heal...
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no subject
If we're talking about the past, then no.
[A small, haggard sigh as he runs a hand over his face.]
At least, not in the way she wanted I suppose. Short of killing Hugo and Barnabas, the only other "way" left would have been to take her away kicking and screaming with me.
[His hand then falls with a hard smack against his leg.]
Maybe I should have. But at the time she had made it so clear she wanted to stay in Waleod, that she wanted that over me, it was basically the final straw. How was I supposed to know she secretly wanted me to take her when she was doing everything else to say otherwise? All those times...
[He stops himself, not wanting to beleaguer old memories on two people who don't need to be dragged further into this mess. Especially when he knows how this all sounds.]
I always wondered if I should have just done it, but that would leave me no better than the rest. So I let her have her choice. But with how things turned out...
[Another empty wave of his hand.]
You may be right. I missed the signs and should have given her a firmer hand.
[Security with an all powerful king versus a man set to go rogue and rebel against the world. From that standpoint, the choice is clear for someone too afraid of risks.]
no subject
There was no changing of the past- no time capsule or magick spell that could spend him to fix this. There was only here, now, at this very moment. And the fact that the gods gave them both another chance had to mean something, right? ]
You couldn't have know at the time, Cid. [ Clive breathes his words out slowly, as if to change his approach. The tension settling in the room was growing thicker and the man attempts to disperse some of it by a supportive squeeze to Cid's shoulder. ] She may have not known herself. But you tired, and did what you thought you could.
[ No option that Cid presented seemed good at the time. To fight both Barnabas and Hugo? Even Clive knew how that would have turned out. And then to try to forcefully pull her from her situation? It seemed as though he had made the one and only decision that felt right. ]
All that's left is to continue to be there for her, even at a distance. You know as well as I how long scars take to heal...